Timing is a bitch

Why is timing always severly off in my life????? My emotions suck, I want to turn them off please!!!!!

Circus!

We took Maddie to the circus for the first time, and it was really cool. I hadn't been in forever, and this was way better than the last time I went. She was so excited about seeing all the animals. We went to the pre-show and got to walk around on the floor where they perform and meet the clowns up close and even try on the performer's clothes! it was really cool, she was a little creeped out by the clowns when we got up close, in fact, she was terrified. She had a death grip on my hand and would not let go.

Conversation with my 3yr old

Last night when I was getting Maddie out of the bath, this is how the insult- I mean conversation went:
Maddie (as she places her hands on my stomach): Mommy, do you have a baby in your tummy?
Me: No, do I look like I have a baby in my tummy?
Maddie: No.
Me: Do you want me to have a baby in my tummy?
Maddie (with a huge smile on her face): Yes!
Me: Maybe someday....

I made a crayon roll!!!

OK, I have to admit, when I first saw these, I thought they were silly. But, the more I looked at them I thought they were cute. But, I'm only into making things that are funcional, hence why I thought they were silly. But I read about how they make a great way for kids to carry their crayone along with them on road trips and such, I thought that sounds functional enough for me! So, here goes. I had a little issue with the ric-rac and I'm not entirely happy with how it turned out, but it was my first one and I plan to make another now that I know where my mistakes were.

Just a little something I made today

Well, since I got my new sewing machine a few days ago, I have been a busy bee. So here are my first 2 projects. I made a reusable sandwich bag and a draw string tote bag for Maddie to keep all her little toys in. The sandwich bag didn't turn out so great, but I was very proud of myself with the other bag. And it was oh so easy with my awesome sewing machine. It does all the work, really!

Dear over-acheiver at the gym:

You really get on my nerves. Do you really have to get a 10 pound weight when the instructor says to use a 5? Do you really have to jog with high knees when the instructor says to march? Do you really have to do extra abs when everyone else is done? You are just making everyone else look bad, and I don't really like you.
That is all.

Somebody's gettin on my nerves........

OK, I need to get this off my chest, and well, since this is my blog and I can say what I want, I'm gonna complain for a minute. You know what bugs the crap out of me????? When people who are really not my friend all of the sudden act like my friend so they can invite me to something that benfits them. For example: if I have not seen you or talked to you in like 4 years, it is not cool to invite me to your jewelry selling party.....hello!!! And please do not waste my time sending me useless invitations on FB to see your husband's band play. Seriously.........I barely know you and just because we're FB friends, you think I'm gonna come to this event? I would be more than happy to support your husband's band or buy some of your jewelry if we were actually friends who talk and see each other on a regular basis.

Oh, and while we're on the topic of FB, I really don't care to read your posts every day about how your hubby is so wonderful and after 10 years of marriage your sex is still so hot, honesty, I do not need to know that. That ranks right up there with PDA's......come on, we're adults now. I'm sorry, but this behavior is just plain rude and I would never dream of pulling something like that. Get a clue, people!!!!!!

OK, feel better now :)

The great snow of 2010!

I have never seen so much snow in my life.....we got 12 inches in one day!!!! It was so cool. I'm sure this will never happen again here, so I had to officially get it on record so I can remember it. Of course, I'm a few days late in writing about it. It started snowing on Thursday, February 11th and on Friday morning, there was 12 inches and I couldn't even get my car out of the driveway. We had fun playing in it. We helped Maddie build a snowman and had snowball fights. It was great!

Random quiz thingy

OK, Julie, you have inspired me. I am going to do this one word quiz thingy that you had on your blog and I'm going to vow to stay on task with my blogging. Thanks!

1. Where is your cell phone? desk
2. Your hair? hideous
3. Your mother? caring
4. Your father? strong
5. Your favorite food? chocolate
6. Your dream last night? none
7. Your favorite drink? tea
8. Your dream / goal? prosper
9. What room are you in? office
10. Your hobby? dance
11. Your fear? violence
12. Where do you want to be in six years? joyful
13. Where were you last night? home
14. Something that you aren't? lazy
15. Muffins? yes
16. Wish list item? car
17. Where did you grow up? Burleson
18. Last thing you did? work
19. What are you wearing? jeans
20. Your TV? off
l21. Your pets? dog
22. Friends? blessing
23. Your life? stressful
24. Your mood? bored
25. Missing someone? no
26. Vehicle? nissan
27. Something your not wearing? necklace
28. Your favorite store? Target
29. Your favorite color? pink
30. What was the last time you laughed? yesterday
31. Last time you cried? yesterday
32. Your best friend? hubby
33. One place that I could go over and over? caymen
34. One person who emails you regularly? mom
35. Favorite place to eat? celebrity

OK, that was fun. Now on to business:

This is day 15 of the Daniel fast. I have to say, this has been very hard. I hope I am not the only one struggling this much with it. In fact, I have to make a confession- Rob and I broke down this weekend. We couldn't take it any more. We ate at Olive Garden Sat night. We had pasta, bread, meat, wine. We broke all the rules :(
But, I'm happy to say that we are back on track today. I have been very good and had very boring meals all day today. Only 6 more days to go!!!

We went to buy a much needed new car this weekend, and struck out big time. We are way too upside down on our car now to trade it in. This really sucks because the car we have now is way too small and Maddie keeps getting bigger and it's so hard to get her in and out with all her stuff and going on a long trip is next to impossible. But, oh well. I guess I should be thankful that the car runs good and gets me where I need to go. We will just have to pay it down a little more and wait about another year. Bummer!

Salad, fruit, salad, fruit, salad, fruit........

Day 4. I'm feeling pretty good again today. I can feel the effects of eating healthy on my body. I ate a banana and soy joy bar for breakfast. For lunch I went to Corner Bakery and had an Asian salad with Edamame on it (not very good) with a bowl of tomato soup. I was very proud of myself, I took the yummy looking piece of bread that was on the plate next to the soup and set it aside and covered with a napkin so I wouldn't be tempted to eat it. It is very hard to resisit the yummy bread they have there. That is the hardest sacrifice for me, the bread and the cheese. But I'm hanging in! Salad and fruit gets really boring though.

I think that God is really giving me clarity and focus through all of this. I think that is one of the things I struggle with the most. With all of the responsibility and stress in my life, I think I sometimes let my mind wander in an effort to somehow temporarily escape from it. The problem is, that causes me to loose focus and get behind in what I need to get done, therefore creating more stress! So, focus is what I need and the Lord is answering my prayers! Thank you!!

Daniel Fast Day 2

Today I felt really good. For breakfast, I made myself a green tea latte using soy milk, it was sooooo good and just what I needed to warm me when it was freezing this morning! Then I ate a banana in the car while I was driving to work. I had to do monitor visits today, so I was going non-stop. In between monitor visits I went to the gym and did a really hard yoga class.
I was all the way in Mesquite, so I had to eat out for lunch. I was a little nervous about it because I thought I would have a hard time finding something I could eat on the fast. I ended up going to Panera. I had the classic salad (with the field greens) and the vinegarette dressing. I am not sure if the dressing is allowed on the fast, but I just can bring myself to eat a salad with no dressing. Then I had a cup of the vegegable soup, and a fruit cup instead of the bread. It was sooooo hard to resist the pastries and breads they have there, but I just prayed for God to give me strength and I would not let myself even look at them.

After my last monitor visit, I went to Sprouts to by some stuff we can eat on the fast. I got some organic rice chips, which are actually really good! I also got gluten-free pasta that is not made with any eggs or dairy and organic spaghetti sauce. I cooked that for dinner with some steamed broccoli and carrots. And amazingly, Maddie loved it! I can't believe it, she is so picky. But it actually really good, would have been better with garlic bread, but that's the sacrifice.

I was flipping through my devotional Bible today and happened to land on a page that talks about how to let go of guilt. I know God gave me that for a reason, I have been feeling really guilty lately about working so much and leaving Maddie. I read a chapter in John about when Jesus was being crucified on the cross and how He took our guilt for us. It was really what I needed to read, it's amazing how He does that!

It's only for 21 days, I can do this!

OK, I'm STARVING! We started the liquids only fast this morning. I have not had any food since 7pm last night. I had a fruit smoothie and have been drinking lots of water. But I want food! I put some beans in the crock pot to cook all day for dinner tonight. That was kind of mistake because now I keep smellling them and it is like torture! Like I said, I have to pray that God helps me stay focused and gives me strength to do this!

Focus, focus, focus

OK, it is a new year and of course I have some resolutions as always. For one thing, I want to try to blog every day. I look at other people's blogs and how much time they put into it and how cool they are and I am really jealous. I want to have something to document memories and important events in my life so I can look back on them later. Also, I want to be dicsiplined enough to stick to it.

THE FAST:
At church, Ed is asking us to do the Daniel fast again. It starts tomorrow and goes for 21 days. During the fast, I can only eat fresh fruits and veggies, whole grains, nuts, and all natural foods. No alcohol, caffiene, sugar, bread, meat, or dairy. I know it is going to be really hard, but I just have to stay FOCUSED and pray and be strong. I want to make it a priority to blog about how the fast is going every day.

Also, I want to resolve to make it a priority to spend time with God every day. It is my goal to start my days with reading the Bible, journaling, and talking to God. Again, I want to blog about this and keep track of my progress.

I know that I am not perfect, far from it, actually, but it is important to me to set goals for myself. I want to hold myself accountable for becoming a better person.

Focus, focus, focus! Here's to a great 2010!

Maddie's 2nd Birthday

Yes, I know I'm a slacker and I'm just now posting this a week and a half later, but hey at least I'm posting it.

Maddie's 2nd birthday was of course all about Elmo. She loves Elmo more than anything so we shelled out the money to hire Elmo to come to her party. My plan was to have the party outside and that way all the kids could play outside with her new water table and sand box that she got for her birthday, but OF COURSE the weather had to be crappy. It was cold and windy, so I had to cram about 5 million people in my house, needless to say I was majorly stressed. But it actually turned out to be fine. She didn't really have that many friends there. I didn't want to invite all the kids at her daycare because I really don't know any of those people, so it was mainly just family. Her cousins Liberty, Sade, and Breanna (Sara and Holly's kids) were there. Also, her cousin Makyalan from Rob's side of the family and her little "boyfriend" who lives across the street, Zachary. I was really kind of ticked because there were supposed to be about 5 other kids there, but apparntly no one belives in RSVP anymore, so it made it impossible to plan. So I ended up with about 6 extra goodie bags.....so annoying. Anyway, it turned out really fun.

Mom made an amazing Elmo cake that was totally better than any professional could do. She also made Elmo and Big Bird cup cakes for the kids that were so cute. Oh, and Elmo cookie pops for their goodie bags. We had tons of food and everyone just ate and mingled for a while. Then the fun started when Elmo arrived. The smile on her face when she saw him was priceless. I was really worried that she would be afraid of him, but she was not at all. Actually, she was the only one who wasn't afraid. None of the other kids would go near him. But she danced with him, huged him, and even had her own private tea party with him. It was great.

After about an hour of playing with Elmo, she opened her thousands of presents. She got mainly clothes, which I was really happy about becuase she already has every toy under the sun. I really don't have to buy her any clothes for summer, she got everything she could possibly need. She has so many people who love her, she is a very lucky girl.

The guests were: Mom (Dad was really sick and couldn't come)

Lisa and Bill, Brandi, Grandaddy and Ann, Aunt Tammi, Rob's mom Sharon, Rob's Aunt Pat and Uncle Chuck, Rob's siter Jen and Makaylan, Rob's brother Paul and his wife Gina, my good friend Amanda, Arlene and Shane and Zachary from across the street, my cousin Sara and Holly.

An unexpected dip in the lake

So this weekend we went to visit Rob's parents at their lake house on Lake Athens. We go there a lot and Maddie has been around the water and out in the boat several times, but now that she is 2 she is much more curious about the water and that almost led to disaster on Saturday.

We were down by the boat house standing on the dock while Rob was in the boat cleaning it out. He found a Sesame Street toy in the boat and threw it over to me so I could let Maddie play with it. She reached for it and when she did, she lost her balance and one foot went off the side of the dock. It all happened in a split second, but I saw her falling in slow motion and I reached out to grab her arm, but it slipped right through my hands. She hit the water and sank like a rock. I didn't even have time to think, I just instantly jumped in the freezing cold water with all my clothes on. She was only under for a few seconds and I reached down and scooped her up in my arms and handed her up to Rob who was about to jump in too.

When he lifted her up, she was very shaken up, but did not cry or anything. She must not have swallowed any water because she was not coughing or anything. That water was so cold, I hope she doesn't catch pneumonia, but I am just thankful she is OK. That was really scary, I could not stop shaking for like half an hour after it happened. From now on, she is not going anywhere near the water without her life jacket on.

Am I being really childish?

So I recently joined Facebook and it is like one big high school reunion. It is really a blast from the past. There are people on there that I haven't seen or even thought about since high school, some of them I don't really even remember. Anyway, this one person on there invited me to an event. I knew this person from high school, but we were more like acquaintances rather than friends. She was more in the "popular" group and I was more in the "invisible" group. So, I am a little baffled by why she would invite me to this party. With that said, this party is really the kind of thing I would love to go to- it's a girl's weekend in a cabin on the lake with a boat and booze. It's right up my ally and something I never get to do. So I really want to go, but the scared little child inside me thinks "what if they're mean to me?" I remember being invited to this same person's slumber party when I was in 3rd grade and while I was sleeping they put toothpaste in my hair and when I got the invitation, that memory immediately came back to haunt me. This was like 25 years ago, surely these people are more mature than than now, right??

I know, I'm being really stupid and I should just go and have fun. We're all adults and I can handle it. Maybe I should brush up on my self defense skills just in case......(just kidding)

What a crappy weeknd :(

So to start off this weekend, Rob comes home Friday night and tells me that he has been laid off from his job......not good :( So of couse we are really upset about it, but after talking about it, we are not going to panick. He is in sales, so we are pretty used to this happening. When times are tough and sales are slow it could be job today, no job tomorrow. There just really is no job security. On the bright side, we have some money in savings, I have my job and he really needed to find a job closer to home anyway (he was driving a total of 3/12 hours commute every day) . So, we are just leaving everything in God's hands and hoping for the best.

Then things just went downhill. Friday night we went to a surprise birthday party my sister threw for her fiance's 40th b day. It was fun, but Maddie was so hyper and running all around and jumping and playing. I noticed that she was coughing a lot. So we went home that night and she crashed out in the car. I put her in bed and she slept fine until 1:45 she woke up coughing her head off. I gave her some cough medicine and tried to put her back to bed, but oh no, she refused to go back to sleep. I was up with her from 1:45-5:00AM! Needless to say I was not happy. Then she finally went back to sleep only to wake up 2 hours later at 7:00.

I called the Dr. and to my surprise they were open on Saturday, so I took her in. He told me she is showing all the symptoms of having asthma and sent me home with a nebulizer to give her breathing treatments at home. Well, as the day went on Saturday she got worse and worse. Her cough turned into an aweful souding bark and she developed a high fever. The poor baby, she was so miserable. She just laid in my lap on the couch and moaned in pain. My mom came over to try to comfort her and as she was rocking her she coughed so hard that she threw up all over mom. So finally, she fell asleep in my lap on the couch. I put her to bed and was praying that we didn't have another night like Friday night. Well, I guess she needed to catch up on her sleep because she slept great all night. She woke up crying and coughing about 6am, then I gave more medicine and she went back to sleep and didn't wake up until 11:30! She is doing a little better today. The cough is still bad, but no fever. I took a picture of her on Sunday, you can see in her eyes how miserable she must have been feeling.

I need to vent too!

Julie's post got me in the mood to vent about work. My biggest pet peeve is when people don't reply to my emails. Now I really think this is just plain rude! I mean, if I asked you a question in person and you didn't reply to me that is just completely rude. Well, since I am in a remote office all alone and don't have the means to ask someone a question in person, this is basically the same thing. There are times when I really need a response to a question so that I can complete a task and when I don't get an answer it keeps me from staying on track. It drives me nuts!!!!! I understand people are busy, I am really busy too. But honestly, how long does it take to respond and say "I am in the middle of something, can I get back to you", how hard is that?

Maddie is finally going to day care!

After trying to juggle working at home and taking care of my daughter for almost 2 years (and almost loosing my mind in the process), I am finally seeing the light at the end of the tunnel. Maddie is starting full time day care on the 26th!!! Yea!!!! I cannot even explain the enormous weight that lifted off of my shoulders when I handed in that enrollment paperwork and paid the enrollment fee to hold her spot. It's amazing, I feel like I can finally focus now and be better at my job and be a better mom. Trying to do both all at once makes both suffer.

So, the company that I work for is now giving us a substantial discount on tuition, therefore finally making it affordable for me. Maddie is going to a great school called Children's Courtyard and it is only less than a mile from my house. I finally have the peace of mind to know that she will be well taken care of and I don't have to worry or feel guilty.

Looking Back on 2008

The year started off with Rob and I being very very sick. We both woke up with a terrible stomach virus on New Years Day and could not get out of bed or keep anything down. So, it was the perfect start to our 21 day fast that we did. It was not a total fast, but we did the "Daniel Fast", basically, you can only have fruits, veggies, and whole grains, no meat, dairy, sugar, caffeine, alcohol, etc. It was really hard, but we were determined to make it to the 21 days and we did it. Rob lost about 15 pounds and I lost 10. Towards the end, I had to start adding back in some things because my clothes were falling off. I stared making protein shakes with soy milk and fruit and that helped.

So, the rest of the winter I was busy with work and I joined in a lot of playdates. I found a group of women my age all with babies Maddie's age and we met once a week and did all kinds of fun stuff together. It was great for Maddie to socialize and I made some good friends. I really miss them alot :(

Easter was really good this year. The last Easter, Maddie was only 5 days old, so she didn't really get to enjoy it. This year, the mom's group that I'm a member of had an Easter egg hunt that was a lot of fun. Then we went to church on Sunday and went to the park after that and Maddie got to spend time with her cousins.

In March, Maddie turned 1. This of course, was a huge milestone. I couldn't believe how fast her first year went by. I guess we were so busy, it was just kind of a blur. We had a great party for her at the house. Tons of people came and mom made her an awesome Hello Kitty cake. I weaned her from the bottle at about 14 months with no problem and she started walking a few weeks after she turned 1. My baby girl had officially become a toddler.

I continued to dance taking ballet and jazz at Dance Etc. in Richardson. I loved taking dance there, I made so many good friends, everyone was almost like family. I miss them so much. I worked really hard that spring and my body was telling me I was over doing it. I got really sick in April with bronchitis and for the first time in my life, they told me I had asthma and I was almost put in the hospital. I had to beg the doctor not to make me go because I had a meeting with my boss that day (she had flown in town from Kansas just for the meeting, I couldn't miss it). My knees were aching on a daily basis, but I was determined this would be the recital I ever did. And it was, it was great. We danced to "Bittersweet Symphony" in ballet, which I have always dreamed about performing to that song, it is so powerful. So it turned out great, but I was sure ready for a break after recital was over.

The summer was long and hot. We spent most of it at the pool. The pool in our back yard wasn't that great for Maddie because there was no shallow area so we spent a lot of time at the public pool in Plano. It was great because they have an area just for toddlers and moms could just chill and get some sun while the babies played. We were hit with some hard times when Rob was laid off from his job in July. With him being in sales, we were kind of used to this and knew that it could happen pretty much any time. Although it was very stressful, it turned out ok because he got a little bit of a severence pay and he found another job pretty quick, which he like much better and he was so much happier.

The most important event in 2008 was that we finally became home owners. We had been talking for a while about making the big move back to Ft. Worth. It was a really tough decision for me and I was really torn. On one hand, I had come to love living in Plano. The neighborhood we lived in was great, we had wonderful neighbors, I had my playgroup friends and my dance studio. But we hated the house we were renting, the high utility bills were killing us, and I hated being so far away from my family. It was so hard and stressful on us, we had no one near by to help us with Maddie, which just added to my stress. We couldn't even go out for a movie or dinner without driving to Ft. Worth so my mom could watch her. So after weighing all the pros and cons we decided that we were definitely ready to buy a house, but we knew we couldn't afford to buy anything in Plano and I knew that I was going to have a nervous breakdown if I didn't get some help with Maddie.

So, we stared house hunting. At first we were going to have a house built, but that didn't work out. But it was ok because we found a great house just the right size and well within our budget and it is only 1 mile from mom and dad. So we made an offer, they accepted and we closed on it in like 3 weeks. It all happened really fast and before I knew it, we were back in Ft. Worth. Maddie had a hard time adjusting at first, but Cowboy was really messed up. It took him a good 2 weeks to adjust. I found a little Mothers Day Out program at the church around the corner from our house and I enrolled Maddie so I could at least have 2 days a week to get some work done.

So soon after we got settled in our house, the holidays were creeping up on us. We had a great Halloween. It was the first year Maddie understood the whole trick-or-treating thing, it was a lot of fun. Lisa had a Halloween party for adults and we got really drunk and had a blast. Then Thanksgiving and Christmas just sort came and went really fast. They were both great and relatively unstressful for the first time ever!

So, I have to say 2008 was all in all a great year. I am very blessed and cannot wait to make 2009 even better!